What to Consider

Things to think about when planning to get help.

Question to consider?

If you’re experiencing violence at home and are thinking about getting help, it’s incredibly brave to even consider that step. Here are some important questions to ask yourself. These questions aren’t meant to pressure you—they’re meant to help you clarify your feelings and options.

Do I feel safe in my home right now?
Do I feel afraid of my partner most of the time?
Do I feel like I’m walking on eggshells to avoid conflict?
Do I feel isolated from friends, family, or support systems?
Do I feel responsible for my partner’s moods or actions?
Does my partner insult, belittle, or humiliate me—especially in front of others?
Has my partner ever physically hurt me, threatened me, or destroyed my belongings?
Do I feel guilty or ashamed for thinking about leaving?
What would I need to feel safe right now?
Do I have a trusted person I can talk to or stay with?
What steps can I take to protect myself?
What services are available in my community for survivors?
Have I contacted a domestic violence hotline or shelter for guidance?

Are you in a safe place?

If you are a survivor of domestic violence, it’s important to prioritize your safety above all else. You may wish to seek refuge with friends or family. However, if that option isn’t available or if it poses a risk to your loved ones, please reach out to Middle Way House at (812) 336-0846. We are here to provide you with information about safe housing options, including our emergency shelter and permanent housing solutions. Additionally, we can connect you with community resources, counseling services, legal advocates, and support groups. If you reside outside of South Central Indiana, we recommend contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline for assistance in your area at (800) 799-7233.

What is a safety plan?

A safety plan is a thoughtful, personalized approach aimed at helping you remain safe during challenging times, such as experiencing domestic violence, preparing to leave an abusive relationship, or after leaving it. This plan is all about identifying steps to safeguard yourself and your children, effectively manage emergencies, and have resources accessible.

Creating a safety plan can significantly reduce risk and enhance your wellbeing in potentially dangerous situations. While the idea of making a safety plan might feel daunting, you may already engage in similar proactive strategies in other aspects of your life without even realizing it. For instance, when you travel, you likely plan your route in advance, share your whereabouts with trusted friends, and carry essentials such as a phone charger, ID, and emergency cash.

Safety planning can also extend to mental health maintenance. Consider the coping strategies that work for you when you’re feeling stressed—like going for a walk, journaling, or seeking support from friends or a therapist. These steps contribute to your overall safety and wellbeing.

Do you have a personal safety plan?

Here are some considerations and arrangements to keep in mind when developing one for yourself:

Plan what to do before a violent incident occurs. Leave the room or the home if your partner becomes abusive. Have an escape route planned to get out of the house.
Maintain close contact with trusted family, friends, and neighbors. Establish a code in case an emergency arises (i.e. if you call and use an agreed upon word that signals you are in danger).
Locate a safe place and arrange with a trusted person for transportation to get you there. Call the police if necessary and learn other emergency numbers to call. If you have injuries, go directly to the hospital.
If you work outside the home, give your employer basic information and instructions not to tell your partner of your plans and to call the police if he comes to your workplace. If possible, alter your route between work and home so your whereabouts are harder to predict.
Leave instructions with your children’s school, day care, or baby-sitter that you are the only person who will pick the children up. Make it clear that the children are never to leave with anyone but you. Give your children age-appropriate information so they can call for help and/or get to a safe place.
Keep a suitcase packed. You can leave it with someone so that your partner won’t find it.
Keep copies of all important records (birth certificates, social security cards, immunization records, insurance policies, car titles, bank account records, blank checks, mortgage information, health insurance cards, passports, visas, etc.) with a trusted friend or family member. If you have one, keep records in a safety deposit box.
Take steps to increase your financial self-reliance. Establish your own checking account, one separate from that of your partner. Establish credit in your own name, if you can do so safely. Try to establish an emergency fund and add to it whenever possible.

If you need help creating a personalized safety plan, call the 24/7 Help & Crisis Line at (812) 336-0846. If you prefer to speak with an advocate over online chat, you can message confidentially here.

Are you aware that you are not to blame for the violence?

Violence is a choice made by an individual, and that person bears the responsibility for their actions. No one deserves to experience abuse or harm, regardless of the circumstances, including disagreements or misunderstandings with a partner. It’s important to recognize that the presence of alcohol or drugs, or even mistakes made in a moment, do not justify or excuse violent behavior. Your safety and well-being are paramount, and you have the right to be treated with respect and care.